one day

all my life I've been praying for, for the people to say that we don't wanna fight no more and our children will play.. -matisyahu

sadness #12

when you are enveloped by sadness that is brought about by a lot of things that happened-whether in the past, just recently, or what you maybe expecting thats gonna happen tomorrow, there will always be that someone who can share your troubles with. But how great is that sadness if you cant have someone to share it with anymore. Or if that someone cant handle you anymore more than you can handle yourself. You always choose a last resort which should have been the first. Fear is something i dont want to have and it something thats eating me up now. My conversations and tears i offer to my Lord because of all of them, there is nobody else who can fully accept me for what i am and what i am not.

What else could it be?

tears or tear-y eyes are an indication of watching too much House, FB mobile all day, and sleep deprivation. What else could it be?

GI JOE is a bit of transformers and a lot of drama. =D

I took the bus today. It was P18 finer.

Looking forward to this in August. Hope the weather will jive with US and my holiday slash birthday slash anniversary trip.

I took the bus today. It was P18 finer.

Looking forward to this in August. Hope the weather will jive with US and my holiday slash birthday slash anniversary trip.

I took the bus today. It was P18 finer.

Looking forward to this in August. Hope the weather will jive with US and my holiday slash birthday slash anniversary trip.

Its you

ikaw pala, ang aking hinahanap.. ang bahaghari ko sa likod ng ulap..
ikaw ang hulog ng langit sa puso kong napunit.. dahil sa dramang paulit-ulit
kanina ka pa ba nariyan?

'gusto ko lamang sa buhay ay yakapin mo ako..

feeling ko ang yaman yaman ko..

-itchyworms

Autofail-ure?

binabangungot ako kahit gising, ng sarili kong kasalanan?

ang bait ko na lang kasi. kainis.

i was just thinking.. maybe i never really removed myself from being an agent.. or in other words.. i still think like one.. i think for them.. to protect them, and guide them.. make them happy so that they will remain happy even at work.. maybe im not thinking as being part of management.. maybe that's why its haunting me.. of what i did.. or did not do.. hmm.

orphans given away by their mother and now they have become rebels.. longing to be with their biological mother again..

getting hitched too

ay sows meron na naman nadagdag. nyahahaha. bitter. red motif. di puede backless dami ko pimples. fondant cake, red din dapat. tas medyo rock na un sa reception haha. puede ba un? auko naman magtampo un iba, kaya dapat invited lahat from little to big. i mean, from my childhood to nowhood. sabi ko nga kay jacq kanina, dapat may representative man lang sa bawat yugto ng buhay ko. drama ko daw hehe. punta na ngako parlor. pa hair and make up. baka ma-late ako sa church. nagaantay na ang groom.

*sigh*

2 redhorse at 1 cracklings

hindi masaya pag magisa uminom. sorry ngayon ko lang natry to eh.

pampatulog or pampalasing? ewan ko gusto ko lang masubukan. eww pala. hindi masarap. mas masarap may kasama. tas palabas sa tv, dyosa o kaya gagambino. ano kaya yun. wala kasi dvd, nasa cavite.

ang gulo gulo ng utak ko. ewan ko ba. new year pa naman. dapat pala magbago nako ng utak. new life, new episode daw oh. parang telenovela lang ang buhay. minsan alam mo na susunod na mangyayari. minsan masosorpresa ka. uyy! kaya mo pala gawin yun. posible pala mangyari yun. andami. im confused. ngayon ko nararamdaman di ko alam gagawin ko. kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko.

amg hilig ko mag-ayos ng sira, pero sarili ko hindi ko magawa. haiz.

what da hell?

im enjoying my daily dose of multiply & friendster and VOILA..! Shocking! Hahahaha!

humanap ka ng panget

i never thought of this song from Andrew E. until someone made me realize that SOMETIMES its true. I just want to make it clear: NOT from personal experience. There's this girl who badly needs to hear this song, and she knows, that I dedicate this song to her. I hope you'll soon have peace in your heart.

kung gusto mong lumigaya ang iyong buhay,

humanap ka ng panget at ibigin mong tunay

isang panget na talagang di mo matanggap,

at wag ang lalake na iyong pangarap

ngunti kung bakit ko sinabi to'y simple lang,

pagka't magagandang lalake ay naglalaro lang

ng iyong oras, pagod, hirap at salapi,

at handang handang iwanan ka naman sa sandali

hanggang sa ikaw ay wala nang ibigay diba?

BREAK IT DOWN. Yeah.

ang babae hindi sinasaktan

i'm not really talking from experience, besa & i was just talking about it.. then i realized.. "ang babae minamahal, hindi sinasaktan.. lalake na lang ang saktan.."

hehehe..

getting hitched

why am i suddenly seeing a lot of people I know, tieing the knot, going to honeymoons, dressing up for bridal showers? Are they just ahead or am I late for this?

I just get this awww feeling.. I planned to get married at 26, well, that was my plan before.. guess I have to wait, or maybe its not yet too late.. I hope.

anti-anger

my goal everyday: not to be mad or to express anger in an explosive manner

so far I'm meeting my goal. Like today. I had lot of reasons to explode, but no I did not. I think its just a waste of energy.

Well, Besa said that I can reprimand without getting mad. True. Its difficult with the job I have, but still true.

The Bodyguard

If I shud stey, ayl tink op yu. ebri step op da weee-he-hey.

so gudbay, plz! don kray, we bot no, am nat wat yu, yu nid.

indaaaaaay-iyah-iyah..

ay wil olweys lab yu!

(a.k.a the bebeguard)

feel good moment

had a MP - salon's code for manicure & pedicure. before i would usually ask to put colorless nail polish on my nails, but this time I thought of something different. colorless on my toe nails, and a purple-ish red on my tired hand nails. first time. my sister had her hair cut a little and ask the stylist to make her look like 'Dyosa' with bangs. my hair was hot-oiled (yes, i made it up alright).

I know that its just really good for one day, but hey, it feels good to have someone take care of you sometimes.. ;)

sana.

sana marami ako pera para wala nang problema.

bow.

Uncommon vowel

Magic 899 just gave away a brand new car this morning. Callers from Manila & Cebu are alternately guessing the plate number of the hot car to win it. During the last 5 minutes, a 'JB' was able to guess it. Its UYC423 (I think, but yes it started with U). Most of the callers are guessing the plate and uses A or E or sometimes I or often O.. but hardly anyone choose to start it with U. I thought it was the most uncommon vowel. Lucky guy this JB is.

Mo was the only who knows the plate #, and said that he hated those who just call in to win the car. Haha. He wants the winner to be a religious listener of Magic. Not just some any asshole who wants to win something.

Wala lang. Restday ko. I get to listen to The Good Times.

besamemucho!

sa araw na ito batiin si

wilfredo V. besa

AKA

jon

besa

bumbay

long hair

kulot

starjonbesa

baho

panget

at kung anu man tawag sa kanya,

siya ay mabait, magulo, pasaway, masaya, mahigpit, nakakatakot, nakakatawa, magaling, maingay, maarte, madaldal, maganda, mayabang, malambing, madumi, marunong, maalaga, matangkad, mataba, maingay, maingay, makulit, malikot, maputi, malakas,

at higit sa lahat, birthday niya ngayon.

happy birthday babebibobumbay!

hap burdey

sabi ng pamangkin ko "hap burdey"

hehehe.. and it just made my birthday a good one.

surprised that my kids would greet me.. (thanks to friendster & that little birthday gift icon)

i'll just sleep my birthday away..

normal day. at the office. for the past f%$*# years.. i mean four years.

haay. i need mang jose cuervo.

Red Ribbon

Kat & Nin sent me a Red Ribbon Black Forrest cake today.. Miss my friends.. Though they are far away, they never fail to remember & make me happy on my day.. Thank you mah bestfriends..

Sarap ng cake.. U want?

**pacute sa pic,with the red ribbon on my head..

3 years since..

It has been three years since..

wacky, weirdo, cool, rockin' & rollin', superb, excellent, extra challenge, exhilarating, boombastic, explosive, waiting & still waiting, funny, loveable, colorful YEARS..

Another poem about love

its an irritatingly unique, indescribable, superb emotion that flows within our entire wholeness..

..& never can you take it away from someone.

love never dies; people do & people kill love.

love sucks; but without love, everything sucks.

love is for the world; without love where is the world?

love is all bullshit; but if you don't love, you are a moron, idiot and a whole waste of human flesh.

love is full of color; without it, it will be just be gloomy blacks & sorrowful greys.

love hurts; but love heals much faster.

love messes everything up; but it also stitches & patches things up.

love makes you sniff & cry; love makes you die of laughter.

love burns until you melt down; but love can burn hell down.

love can't be undone; its permanent.

you can fall in love; you can't fall out of love, its just that love moves in a different level - lower or higher.

love is perfect; flaws & faults doesn't make it imperfect, the people-that-don't-know-how-love-works do.

LOVE DOES NOT NEED BECAUSE, BECAUSE LOVE IS THE CAUSE.

Walang break time

I like this.

At SSS, there was this one official of SSS that was giving "like a speech" to those who are forever waiting to get their transactions done at the agency. He was rendering an apology to the group of people outside the office because not everybody can be accomodated all in one day. It was lunchtime & the sun was strikingly hot which makes the people more frustrated & cranky because they have to go back the next working day.

It was truly nice for this official to apologize to all. Then one lady asked, "Paano po yan break time na?" He answered, as if is he the president of SSS, "Wala pong break time dito. Bawal po ang break time!"

Wow. I hope all government agencies has this rule that there should be no interruption of transactions even if its lunchtimne. I know, they also need to eat and rest and puff a quick cigar, but why not do it alternately right? They dont really had to go on break all at the same time.

Unlike in Makati City Hall, we came to request a certified true copy of the marriage certificate (of Jon's parents). When we arrived, lights were all out (well, not all, but enough to cover those employees who are taking their breaks and catching a good lunch sleep.) It was 1230PM, and a lot of people are already waiting, probably starving & wanting to rest at home, but NO, they had to wait until 1PM to talk to somebody. I mean, what's wrong with taking their breaks at different times? It would not interrupt work right?

Try working in a call center. The work never stops. Its what you call shifting.

Anyway, there was no available paper to write on for me to put something in the suggestion box. Oh well, we'll be back there on the 23rd. Ill just bring my own. ;)

bad ending

im so helpless, lonely, and i cant do anything about it.. im losing all of them.. one by one.. actually not one by one but 6 all the same time.. it was so sudden that im calling desperate actions from everyone.. but still i feel like i didnt do my best to save them.. nauubos na mga anak ko! huhuhu..

i just dont want them to think that i didnt do anything to save them.. not until i received a message from one of them.. "for all the things that ive said that i shouldnt have said and for all the things that i didnt say that i should have said, im sorry. thanks for still taking care of me.."

im so touched coz i felt that my efforts were appreciated.. even if i know that i made stupid decisions in the past that led to disasters, and made them suffer. exaggerated? but its how i feel. i love them and i know they feel the same, maybe not all but i know i have been an important part of their worklife.. i just feel like its all coming to a bad ending.

sadness.. and more sadness..

im not a superwoman..

i wish i was in this kind of situations.. i feel so helpless that i cant do anything to save my babies.. haayy.. nauubos mga anak ko.. and those who are left im now encouraging to leave.. i just dont see any reason to stay here since i feel like theyre not treating us right.. as for my agents thats how they feel.. it sucks but its true.

i really feel so helpless, made stupid decisions and now i cant do anything for them.. i just wish they wouldnt feel that i did nothing for them.. thats the worst of my worries..

Seasonal Affective Disorder

I remember Nin had this before.. what about now? me too?

During holidays & special occasions, I can go to all the places I know and celebrate with them but not to the place that I have been dreaming of.. I hope that it will not be a dream forever.. Still waiting..

Chuck Taylor

Nice! I think my agents love me.. enough to buy me a pair of chucks! My first pair actually! I was planning to buy by the end of this month, so this was really a surprise for me.

Unexpected and touching..

Raffle!

Held a raffle for my agents. Saw the excitement in their eyes.. for the groceries!

Well.. I hope they are happy..

CRIBS

I complained but not too much.. Especially when I had fun at CRIBS. It was an outreach program of DTV. They take care of infants and abused girls. We had a lot of interaction with the girls, they were friendly and accomodating. I also had the chance to play with some of the infants. Some of them were left somewhere, like in the mall or in the garbage. Maybe we don't understand those mothers who does that to their babies. But why not leave them to their relatives or somewhere where they would be best taken care of?

There were these two babies who were isolated because they have a fever. One was crying so hard that I almost felt like crying too. THere was ony one nurse who takes care all of the babies.

We played games, intermission numbers and gift giving. It was funny when we played the Newspaper dance, one girl had to carry me on her back because I can't. Hehehe. Magaan naman daw ako eh.

Maymay asked me to sing Better Days, I thought I would be able to get away by playing with the infants but not with Maymay. When I was walking home I passed by a videoke bar wherein one lady was singing better days. Natawa lang ako.. Hihi.

Im so tired

Friday morning, woke up at 6am to meet France at RCBC Makati.
We had coffee at Starbucks, and then went to Dencios. I made a reservation for my team, dinner at 7pm. Then we went to SM Makati, bought toys for the kids. I thought I'd buy some for my "inaanaks". Si France kasi eh. Andami ko tuloy nabili.

Friday night, met my team at Dencios. Had dinner, I'm happy because we're complete and we took pictures. Well, I hope they had fun. We continued our get together at Maru KTV. It was not the best place to be, but we had fun singing.

Lesson Learned. Next time I'll get an early reservation..

BTW, We met a kid, a flower vendor who had no slippers so I thought what the heck, I'll buy him a pair at Mnistop. Rona bought him dinner. Kawawa naman. I wish I could do more for them..

No time to sleep!

I only had 2 hours of sleep!
Buti buhay pa ako.

Met Nin at Fatima Valenzuela, which was by the way my first time to go there alone.
Before that, I passed by Redbox Greenbelt just to discover that they are fully booked for Friday night! Grrr!

I managed to get to Fatima, at hindi ako nawala yehey! (muntik na)
Ate at Shakeys. Nin had a sprain. Clumsy old Nin. ;)

Hindi nako marunong magcommute! Waahh!

Nin told me something about an advice I gave her a long time ago and I don't remember me saying that. She said it was really ironic. When she told me, I did not believe it. But I guess I had to.

Thought a about it a lot. But then, if she would ask for an advice again, I would still say no. Brings a lot of comlications. In my case, a whoole lot.

It was good

I'm feeling much better now.
We talked about things.
I told him how I feel, and he listened.
I got a text message from him which was very unexpected.
I thought he never knew how I felt..

Rock the Riles

We parked Crazy Ass near MRT, and had a little problem with her stand. It was stuck, and Jon had to borrow a hammer to fix it. Anyway, when we arrived at the station. Paramita was next to perform. Yay! Bought cards to get in and see them up close & personal. Took pictures of course. Also saw Up Dharma Down, Radioactive Sago, Giniling Festival and another band whose name I forgot but was singing like Brandon Boyd.

Gang Badoy talked about the Sumilao farmers which is the cause of the event. Rockedphilippines brings events like this for a good cause. Human Rights. Rock on.

Not enough sleep.It was hot. We had to pay P25 each to get in but it was worth it.

New experience.

Busy day

Went to Exportbank Plaza Saturday morning at 9am to meet my honey Camela.
We had coffee at Starbucks 6750, talked about everything we missed doing together.
She is actually the only one I can talk to about him.
At around noon, we continued our date at Big Grill.
3 bottles each. Gosh I miss drinking with her.
Besa came. I have no intention of telling him but them I missed him. And so I did.

I didn't tell him that I was with Camela, he picked me up there and we went to Red Box to meet our co-workers. Due to the downstaffing, our boss thought of having a little get together for everyone. And then there was drining again. My favorite, Mang Jose. Came to the office at 2am in the morning. Still dizzy, hangover, but I got to work.

The things I do before work.. Haay.

3 hours

I only had 3 hours rest.. from all the aches in the world. Work, love, family.. All of it. I guess I'm not the best doctor of my heart. I don't even know what it wants.. Or sometimes I don't know what it wants, for that matter. I need some rest from thinking.Because thinking makes me feel weary and tired, and worst of it all, it hurts..

She's back!

Nin is back home!
She got here 28th I think.
Stayed overnight @ Marilao with Arvin.
Had like 2 wapak and 2 shots of my fave, Mang Jose.

Catch up on things..
Miss her.

Spageti

Did I get it right?
I learned how to cook spag today!
No violent reactions please!

Flickring

people.
places.
music.
noise.
memories.
gone.
alone.
desperate.
unhappy,
but happy.

sorting out my flickr.
i remembered something.
what if it's all just a big photo album,
time will just freeze the whole picture.
nothing can be changed.
can't go back now.
it's a whole new one.

take a snapshot again.
see what happens.

An Old Happy Story

excerpts from an old pocketbook:

hi!
musta na?
tagal na nating di nagkita?
ok ka lang ba?
ayusin mo buhay mo ha.
ayusin ko din sakin.
promise.
ingat ka lagi.

it's amazing
how some stories
unexpectedly
becomes my reality.

Erap (Not the President)

It was freezing outside. we had our jackets on but we still got wet.
maybe because our transportation is the open type. hehehe.

Good news! 13th month pay was given today. Thank God for this job.

Went to Rjs to sip a hot bulalo soup.
Suddenly there he was.
A kid with no slippers on, with wet, dirty clothes.
I had no change to spare so Besa paid our bill though we haven't eaten yet.
But then I thought of something else instead of giving coins.
Why not let him eat with us? Great idea. Why not.

I asked him why he had no slippers on. no answer.
We asked for his name. "it's erap." Wow.
We were so lucky to have breakfast with the most famous president in the Philippine history (well, that's just me..). imagine that.
I asked where he lives. He said its just around the corner.
I watched him eat, like he has not eaten a fine meal for days.
Like its the first time that he'll be able to eat at that place.

I just wish there was more that we can do.
But this is what we can only do.
I thank Besa for he was the one who opened my eyes to this.

First time we did this was back when we did not have any motorcycle.
We had to ride the bus at Edsa and take a jeep at Boni ave.
There was this kid who was asking for some coins,
but instead, Besa asked him to join us at Mcdo.

I was so happy and did not expect that from him.

But then I realized why.
He could not bear the fact if that would happen to him.
To his own.

Unexpected

Everytime I hear it I always expect what I want. But most of the time I get frustrated because I would eventually realize that I'm wrong, and I shouldn't be expecting too much at all.

I have all these bottled up in my head and can't figure out what is happening. It's burning inside like I wanna explode into something that I'm usually not.

It has been this long since I took this path, when I chose to live as if nothing is ever gonna be the same. I'm walking through it and leading me somewhere I don't know.

Isn't that enough to say that I understand everything?

Don't get me wrong. Everything is appreciated. Glad to hear, to see, to accept all of it. It may not be obvious. Just look a little bit closer.

I don't have any reason to complain or to back out now because what I said was true and nothing can change it. I'm still here, the same old me.

I wish its gonna be my turn now. To be understood.

FNAB

Do you know what is FNAB?

Fine Needle Aspirate Biopsy.

Just don't ak me to define it, I'l just describe it. A fine needle (of course) would go through the body part that they want to extract body fluid from. In my case, it's my neck. i have this lump, a colloid as the doctor said, on the right part of my thyroid. This is actually my second time to undergo. I was so scared the first time and the second time, though there's really nothing to be scared about but the truth that this might enlarge anytime soon. So better to go through this than seeing that I have an obese neck.

Imagine, a long needle, syringe would be going through your neck within a minute, sucking all the blood and fluid in that lump. That hurts for me. Ouch!

Next week, I would have to go back to Healthway again to vist an endocrinologist and see what she or he would say about my case. If medications would not cooperate with my case, chances are I would have to undergo surgery. Oh my...

I want to eat Dunkin Donuts pero wala na pala sa Rob Mla.. Iba tuloy nahanap ni bebe..

Astig ni Manny Paquiao noh?

Something News

Got my first credit card today. i thought it will never be approved. Unfortunately, it was. I might just use it for emergency purposes, unless hiramin ni mama. hehehe. Siya pa kasi nagdeliver sakin sa kwarto, and siya ung excited.

Bebe also bought me Levi's jeans, and got a new pair of sandals from Rusty Lopez. Sira na kasi ung favorite sandals ko. I don't really like to go shopping for extra things, just when I need it, or kapag sira na. Or maybe because I don't have that much money to buy extra..

What is a toothache?

Its when you can't anything you want for 4 to 5 days. Its something which hinders you to smile your best. Its when you can't open your mouth and shout "Ahrgh!" Its those times when you really can't go to work because you have a locked jaw. If ever its going to be my first tooth extraction. And Im scared to death. I hope that anaesthesia works. Its also my first time btw to get that. How exciting isn't it?

Is toothache relevant to sore throat? In my case, yes.

Inflammation of the gums + inflammation of the throat = hell.

Add up your life's problems.. What do you have? Toothache!

Jyan Louis Gabriel Hipolito Ganal

Si Jyan sinunggaban agad ung cake.. hehehe.

Birthday na ni Jyan! Yehey! I changed my rest day so I can celebrate with them sa Cavite. Meron konti kids, pabitin at palayok. Cake with wonder boy on top, ballons na galing daw sakin?

Kaso si Jyan umiyak nung sa pabitin ewan ko, dahil ba hindi sya nakakuha.. pero siya naman bida sa palayok.

Hilig pa mag nguso ni Jyan! Pogi ng batang to!

Pag lasing na ang hilig niya ay paglaruan ang tenga at hikaw ko. Weird din to noh. Hehehe.

Keychain na Doll

Ang baho sa loob ng taxi. Amoy natuyong pawis, na ewan ko ba kung galing kay manong driver o sa pasahero niya na katatapos lang magpractice ng sumo wrestling. Buti na lang malapit lang ang pupuntahan ko. Papasok lang naman ako. Hindi na ako sanay mag commute. Di narin sanay mag-taxi. Riding in tandem ang uso ngaun sa buhay ko. Hehe.

Crazy Ass.

Hindi ako yun. Yun ung pangalan ng motor namin ni Jon. Akalain mo nakuha pa namin pangalanan diba? Actually siya lang nagbigay nun. Nice name. Astig nga dating diba.

May bagong kanta pala ung isang babaeng singer na ewan ko ba kung naging karelasyon nga ni Barbie. Dati gusto ko pa siya. Simula ng nag-revive siya ng isang lumang kanta, ayoko na. Mataas ang boses niya. Babaeng babae. Maganda. Malamig. Masarap pakinggan. Dati siguro. Pero malay natin in the future ulit.

Paano kaya magagawa yung Orange. Gusto ko pa naman panoorin yung hiniram ko kay Maymay. Bituing Walang Ningning at Bukas Luluhod ang mga Tala. Original ito oy. Buti na lang natapos ko na ung Weeds. Sabi ni Besa, magulo ang ending. Magulo nga. Hehehe.

Wala ako kasama pumasok. Nagpunta sila sa Pansol. Na-miss ko tuloy sila Camela. Ay si Camela lang pala. Oliver, Kae, swimming, hot springs, at kung anu ano pa nakikita dun sa Pansol. Gusto ko pa nga mag two piece swimsuit kaso bawal daw sa pool eh. Baligtad noh.

Naging dalawa tuloy trabaho ko. FD at TM. Gusto ko na nga gawin lahat eh kaso hindi puede. Mas gusto ko yung nauna, but I'm stuck with the latter. How do I get out? I don't know. Wish I knew how.

Stress. Lack of sleep. Sadness. Anger. Frustration. Ignorance. Big Pay. These are the rewards of my achievement. For all I know, I'll be here forever. Scary.

Like in the song from Music & Lyrics, "..trapped in the past I just can't seem to move on."

Mocha Blends

Hirap pala maghanap ng trabaho. pila ka sa kahabaan ng megatrade hall para makapasok ka at makahanap ng "dream job" daw. ewan ko eh un kasi title ng job fair ngayon dito. napasama pako sa isa sa mapapalad na magiinterview sa mga aplikante. galing noh. baka puede din ako magapply ng ibang trabaho habang nagiinterview para sa kompanya namin. hehehe. dalawang aplikante na ang pinapadala dito, ung isa nagaantay sa magiinterview sa kanya, di alam kung matatanggap ba siya o wala. makakailan kaya kami ng matatanggap ngayon? or should the question be, "may matatanggap ba kami ngayon? Harsh.

Balik ako sa post nato ha? kasi hanggang sa makaalis ako ng Megamall ng 2:30pm. wala parin talaga kami natanggap eh. We had i think 4 or 5 applicants during the initial and final interview but nobody exceeded or at least reached our standards. Kailangan eh. Baka mapasailalim ko pa yun. Problema na diba.

Anyway, Im still happy because I had the chance to see Nin and Kat, (of course in pics only), na magkasama ulit. Buti pa sila nagkikita. Miss you guys. I hope you're reading this. I really miss you guys. Sana makarating ako jan. But how? I don't know where to start. Unlucky me.

Tacos. Pink bag. Camera. Rosy cheeks. Red sweater. People in the background that I don't know. Kat's frown of frustration or disgust?

Takaw niyo dami niyo ata food? hihihi.

all in a year's work

shrek. optimus prime. bumble bebe. silver surfer. top grill. umabot pa ng sais. starts and ends. baguio. license to wed. dream come true. archie sup col. fantastic four. happy beerday. mariners. oh my mariners. next?

Sa may Saguijo lang po!

hala sobrang tagal na, forgot to update this blog. super busy sa work eh!

panget nga ng RD ko tues & wed, pero ok narin!

bebe & I went to Saguijo Bar, watch kami gigs!

Queso, Kamikazee, Narda, ItchyWorms, andun si Reg Rubio at Chito Miranda, tambay nga lang at nood.

here are some of the pictures! balik tayo dun!

mukha na namang ewan si jay.. kaya mukha rin akong ewan.. hehe.


bagay ba rev? hehehe!




haaaayyyy..... love u! bebe! hehe!

Salamat po!

Wow. At last. My biggest achievement? Yeah I think so.

I've tried once but failed, tried to go away from this place but failed.

Wala talaga eh sa DIRECTV talaga ko eh!

Good thing iba na tawag sakin. 2 letters with higher pay. YUM.

I just hope I can survive this.

Masaya na malungkot. Kasi nawala din si bebe ko. Lipat na. Haayyy. Parang ganun din.

Pero thank GOD for everything.

its been quite awhile..

masyado kasi maraming masasakit na pangyayari nung mga nagdaang buwan.. kaya ngaun lang ako nakabalik dito. kunwari masaya ulit. anyway, share lang ako pics. hindi ko namalayan summer getaway na ulit. shit pangalawa ko na to. di parin ako nakakaalis.. kelan kaya?



ay wala pala ako dito. check out the next pic na lang.

i lost. how do i win this?

it sucks to lose your favorite things right?

like i lost my pen one time, and its a pilot retractable pen that i really love.
nakakainis!

you know what, that's nothing pala.

it kills to lose a very important person in your life. persons for that matter..

damn it. be careful with words. but i was sorry. heartily sorry.

i just dont understand why. i tried to redeem myself. i was pushed away, left alone in the crowd, ignored, tricked, lied to. and so many things. yet im still smiling.

i just dont know if i still want to smile. or laugh.

ang hirap hirap ng nararamdaman ko ngayon.
sira lahat.
hindi mo na alam ang totoo.
bakit ka tinutulak palayo?
bakit walang tumutulong sayo?

ako yung dehado, ignorante sa mga bagay, walang alam..
pero bakit ako yung masama..
bakit mali ang mga sinasabi ko..
ano ba talaga..
naguguluhan na ko.

QA teambuilding @ Tanauan

We had our QA teambuilding at the same place we had it the last time.
At Tanauan, Batangas, sa resort ng boa ni Mother Jill..

Ayun, ok naman siya.

It was fun.
We had our chance to get to know our new lil sisters (and brothers?) sa QA team.

Naiyak lang ako nung kinagabihan.
Ewan ko kung bakit. Hehe. Chismis.

Tas kinagabihan.. Pasok na naman.

Sayang di ako nakasama sa Buccaneers. Nagpunta sila sa Galera eh.

100 days

Because I liked My Sassy Girl, I was inspired to adopt the 100 days celebration of their relationship. Wala lang. kornicks! hehehe!

Had people, my agents, my co-QARs give love notes to bebe.
kaso di ko natapos. take note: thats 100 notes. cut into hearts, and stars.

It was fun.
Basta masaya..

mA sAssy girL

ma sassy girl.
am i one?

di naman ata ko ganun.
siguro half lang.
half kay besa.

i really love the story, somewhat reminds me of me before..

drunk in tears.
broken hearted.
saved by the one,
one who's with me now.

'twas the night when i was so happy to the extremes only to find out that i'll be scared to the verge of tears falling.

it was totally unexpected.
but it was expected.
scary though.

never been so scared this much.

maybe because its halloween?

theres nothing to do but let tears fall.
run away.
hide.

how long is this gonna last?

how long can I last?

my hands are tied.

its hard to be where i am now.
i dont even know how i got here.

what am i getting into?
i didnt even realize it until i got here.
i dont want to think that im trapped.
trapped between my mind and my heart.

i do know that i am happy.
sometimes real, sometimes not.

am i too demanding?
of myself and the people around me?

the person staring at me in my most darkest hour,
is the person waiting in vain for me to understand.
i dont even know why i started it.

having doubts? yes.

but when you love, you need no doubts.
its unfair.
unfair to yourself and the person staring back at you.

am i ready to give it all?

long lasting relationships are based on honesty and trust.
am i trusting enough?

i trust anyone so easily. because i know that no one would betray me.
maybe thats what i think. or what i want to believe.
may it be true or not.

weve been running several months,
in circles, perhaps.

now i dont want to be too demanding.
but need i not demand?
even if im being broken down into pieces?

everyone can bring you down.
but i dont want to be the one to hurt myself anymore.

i am not YOUR doctor.

I don't want to be your other half I believe that one and one make two.

I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together.

I don't want to be your idol.
See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights.

I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart and its wounded beat.

I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling.

What do you thank me for.

David & Kaye's wedding

it was 1230pm and was raining so hard.
jhon and i was late on meeting up with camela and mark.
hehe. galit na nga honey ko eh.

took a sta cruz bus and arrived at cayet's cabin at 2pm exactly.
which was the scheduled time for the wedding to start.

nagmamadali na kami magbihis, sumabay kami sa van.
nakakahiya nga eh. at eto pang si besa, hay naku, sabi ko magdala ng polo. wala din pala.

we arrived at the church by 3pm, and people had lined up for the communion.


honey, be, epol & minette

it was just a simple church. but who cares? its a wedding of 2 lovers who, i think is on their 5th year already being together. gosh. sweet.

we saw minette and kix there as well. they were kaye's team mates at directv.

kulit ni besa. photographer at alalay in one. hehe.
love you, man.

after the wedding, we went to the reception.

astig yung place.

all glass walls, overlooking laguna.

ganda lalo na nung kinagabihan.
nawili nga kami sa picture, i brought my digicam.

stayed at villa mejia.

in the moring, we bought goto sa may crossing.

checked out 12 noon.

naiwanan pa ni camela ung damit niya.
hehehe.

Recto Records at Nina Live!

kailan kaya matatapos ang magulong kwento ni babebibobu?

world war na naman daw.
sana may maitulong ako. pero wala.
everytime something happens, theres onlyone thing I hope for.
sana bumalik parin sila.

ayun.
nagpunta na lang kami ng recto records. (as Jhon calls it)
super girl ako. nakaskirt. ready to sing with Nina ng,

"Dont call me in the middle of the night no more.." at ng,

"Love moves in mysterious ways.."

I bought PBB soundtrack and Jagged Little Pill acoustic.
ganda ng Alanis. I heard it playing at Glorietta.
Favorite ko talaga tong album dati pa.

papapalit sana ng earrings si Jhon ng biglang nangyari
ang isang nakakahiyang pangyayari..

napigtal ung sandals ko!
gusto ko na ngang umiyak nun eh.
pero buti na lang,
may hikaw ako sa bag.. este.. perdible pala.

kinabit niya muna at nagpunta kami sa isettan para bumili ng sandals.
nagkaron tuloy ako ng dahilan para bumili ng sandals. hehehe.

anyway.. it was quite fun. hehehe.
were supposed to take the lrt but i might be late for 630 meeting with chris at allied.

"I'm missing you already!"

wala lang. hehe.

Met Chrissy at Ministop.
We took the mrt.
When we arrived, Toni, Pia, Tolitz and Ria were already inside.
Were just in time, its okay because we had good seats at Araneta.

The concert was fun!
Chrissy and I was really excited to hear, I dont want to be your friend.
I remember 2 are my themesongs, courtesy of Chris and Maymay.


the closest I can get to her..

Nina was great, great outfits as well, colorful nga eh.
I just didnt like the last part when she sang, I believe I can fly."
Di siya nakalipad eh..


pia & toni after the concert

I loved Through the fire as well..

Next concert would be MYMP in NOvember.. ipon na!


ayan si Nina sa likod!

After, we went to Rj's place.
It was so cozy (as they described it.)
Japanese inspired.
All white.
Very minimalistic yet unique.


ganda nung naka-skirt.. hehe..

Natulog.
Uminom sandali.
At pumasok na sa Allied.
Natulog ulit.

Took calls for 2 hours.

Haay..

Pwede magpahinga?

extra challenge!

4pm. 6 waffle time. jolly cheezy fries. buendia. lipa bus. turbina. crossing. waltermart. van. fog. lots of fog. 1500. pinoy big brother. then and there. winter cold. corned beef and bbq. grove. anklets. on his knees and a guitar. ecotrail. suspension bridge. love the long walk. telescope. air supply. bring me to life. sky palace. where's olivarez?. lanzones. panucha. sweet tamarind. lawton. lots of pics. church. goodbyes. 5pm.



hehe. ganyan talaga pag tinatamad magpost.
basta masaya.

lalo na pag kasama mo ang abala sa buhay mo.

regularization.

wow.
never thought its possible.
6 months being a qa.

happiness. hehe.
we did the epr at starbucks 6750.

it was good.
same AFI for me.
assertiveness.
haha. i know.
i'll try.

out in the open

grateful and happy.
i had the guts now to say it all.
out in the open.

everyone knows.
karen, maymay, qars..
everyone around.

now i wont be afraid.
thats how i want it.
now im happy.
but not completely,
of course.

im still scared.
though this one knows.
im scared to meet this one.
chaos.

paranoia kills your brain.
so does the people around.

what can i do?
when he says im not to be involved.
in any way.
when i know,
in reality,
im one of the reasons.

maymay asked me,
"masaya ka ba?"
i said, "oo naman."

im happy kasi nakuha niya ko tanungin nun.
masaya nako 'cause she cares.

am i really happy?
of course.
every time i would have the chance
to say how i feel, im happy.

ang hirap ng sitwasyon.
pero pinipilit mo.
kasi kailangan.
kasi nagmamahal ka.

one sassy day.

i think sassy girl is a nice movie to watch.
kaso nga lang in filipino.
darn.

i liked it when i saw the tagline.


..story of a broken hearted girl..

..and the boy who would try to heal her heart..

..will she stay after the pain is healed..?

..will fate lead them together..?


hehehe.
sakto.
pati dun sa kasama ko.

umiyak ba sa sinehan?
sa himig ng mymp?

"..tell me where it hurts and ill do my best to make it better..

i just discovered that i can cry just hearing a particular love song.
and it wont start unless the song would start.

dapat talaga may tama yung kanta.

memories.

abby arrived at around 11pm.. gosh.
i was about to close my eyes and sleep then she texted me and told me to wait outside for her taxi.

dunno where were going. (si abby di alam?)
of course, as usual. Anthology.

decided to wait for pj there.
were seated at the first table we had the first time we were together at that place.

memories. haha. abby had a lot. i had my own share.
with roger (roger rabbit or roger moore?) and jhon. hahaha.

that was the first time i heard four cute words that i wont forget.
from the mouth of the one who saves.
i was happy at the moment and depressed at the same time.
first time kong lumuha sa kanya.
mixed emotions.

anyway, whats important is now.
that was yesterday.
this is my life now.


avy & pj @ anthology

pj arrived by 12. i think. had one round of strong ice and then we went to common ground. its the place to be. well, back in college. hehe.

had fun at common.
at syempre pinatugtog ang favorite kong gasolina. hehehe.


with pj @ common ground..

called jhon and greeted him. its his bday.
and ian will be a christian by 11am.
too bad i cant be there.

sadness!

Its my birthday..

happy birthday to me.

just like an ordinary day.
nothing so special.
biometrics did not even greet me.
damn thing.
love everyone at the office.
they did greet me.
some friends texted me.
some did not.
anyway..
am i supposed to be happy?

he had lunch at our home.
so whats your problem?

had fun taking pictures with cha & may..
pretty nga namin eh. hehe.


cha, epol & may (pretty gals!)

One of those nights

Went to Megamall yesterday with Jon. watched a movie, ate at Greenwich, beat his ass at Tekken 3 & 4, usual stuffs huh?

here's something new:

** paid a premier ticket at the movie house but Jon rushed me and ran away from the security guard so we can sit at the balcony. I was scared but then, the guard didnt bother to look for us or ask for our tickets. Haha.

** one token got jammed in the Tekken 3 slot so Jon asked help to get it and move to another so we can play Tekken 4. Jon lost, as always. But then, he actually got credits still after he lost in our match, without putting in new tokens. I think we had 4 rounds of free game. Hehe.

** Bumped into Vanessa and Bong. Didnt recognized Bong at first. Late reaction na naman ako. Hehe. I told Vane right then and there. Miss ko yun bruhang yun. Kakaiba pa ngumiti.

Yun lang.

Camela texted me asking if tuloy ba daw gimik ngaun. Si Jon namiss uminom hehe kaya ayun nagpunta kami Villalon. And of course, what would be Villalon if Jon wont sing? Buti isa lang kinanta niya. hehe. The most famous Bring Me to Life.

Mark and Camela arrived by 12 na ata. We were supposed to go to Anthology but it was raining so hard. Bakit ba pag friday ng gabi lagi na lang umuulan?

Mga 230am ata kami lumipat sa Anthology, nakailang wapak.
Masaya na naman ang gabi.
Went home 5am.

Got a ring from Jon.
Wala man lang surprise.
Anyway, ganda siya.

Masaya kaya birthday ko sa tuesday?

sadness.

what is sadness?

going home alone.
worried sick.
lack of sleep.
no one at home.
no payslip.
hungry.
its a secret.
death.

Go ahead

Some things never change.
Some do.
Not just things.
But feelings.

If you dont believe me,
Fine.

Regrets.
All have one.
You did too.
But its over.

I threw it away.
Why?
I dont need it.
Not now.
Not again.

Why did you see it?
I dont know.

But its gone.
I wont go back.
Never.
Not again.

Im here now.
Past is past.
Here is now.
Nowness.

Time is precious.
Mine is yours.
Now.
Cant you see?
Cant you feel?

There's doubt.
I know.
I told you.

If you dont believe me,
Fine.

It was sad.
It was stupid.
It was all gone.

No intention.
Going back.
Never again.

Words are words.
It destroys.
It kills.

Words are precious.
I dont say it.
But I do.

Dont ask anyone.
No one knows.
No one but you.
And me.

But if you dont believe me,
Fine.

It hurts.
Like hell.

Now I can feel.
I do.
I want to.
Ill get over it.
I promise.

Believe me.
Give me time.
I will.

Anthology

I was at Anthology, Malate with Avy last night.
was supposed to go to QC but it pours like hell so we decided not to. Avy arrived by 9pm. Sheez. was about to fall asleep 'cause I havent got any at all. Anyway, we were there t the most famous Anthology, where dreams come true and hearts are broken.. Hehe.

At the bar we had 2 Wapax and squid which sizzles to the bone, hehe. Then we took our drinks to a nearby available table (wow, it rhymes!). Suddenly Mark texted me and said that hes at Marlon's asking where is this so-called Anthology. (I just like to repeat the name over and over..)

And then there he was. The one who's been texting and calling me at home which my mother thought was 'Marge'. Avy's bestfriend. He's okay. At least, we met up. So ayun.

Then we, again took our drinks to an available couch at the side of the bar where it was cozy and had good lighting, like youre up for an investigation in the dark quarters of the Manila City Jail. May kalbo naman kami kasama eh. hehe.

By 4am, we saw Cooky Chua (as always), waiting for her ride together with her bandmates (I think). Senglot na ang lola mo.

Getting ready to go home.. Then the rain suddenly pours like hell. Again. Huwaaaahhhh!

Took a cab. First destination, of course, my house.
I texted him. No reply. Waited all night. Hope he's fine.

Anyway, it was a nice night to have.
Met someone new.
Saw Cooky again.
Had to transfer tables twice.
Was hit by the rain.
Headache.
More headache.

are you married?

im not getting, married or anytime in the future.
i just read this in a friendster bulletin.
kakatuwa eh.

husband - a man who chases women until one
catches him.

kiss - uptown shopping for downtown business.

orgy - group therapy.

pyjamas - an item of clothing newlyweds keep
near their bed in case of fire.

misadventure - an adventure with a miss.

vicious circle - a wedding ring.

adultress - a married women who is too good to be
true.

adultery - fishing without license.

divorce court - hall of blame.

pigamist - a guy with 6 wives.

divorce- the past tense of marriage.
- going through a change of wife.

illegitimate child - sinfant.

irritant - your mother in law.

shotgun wedding - wife or death.

honest - a man who hasn't been caught yet.

genius -another woman's husband

home - the only place to go when the bars are
closed.

The color of my life

Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns.
I am thankful that thorns have roses.. -Alphonse Kerr

You're a thorn in everyone's life.
No one wants to touch you.
You bring pain.

Me? I'd be glad to grasp tightly until blood squeezes out from my hand than never to feel that thorn which makes the rose strong.

Red.

wala akong kwarto..

alaala ng lumuluhang kahapon..
pinipilit ko na ring kinakahon.

natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya..
lumabas ako ng kwarto't naroon siya.

Rockestra

When Two Musical Worlds Collide
by Kristine Lim

When an immovable object like classical music meets an irresistible force like indie rock the results are nothing short of explosive.

ROCKESTRA brings together six of the Manila's finest rock bands and the prestigious Manila Symphony Orchestra.

Forget what you think you know about classical music. ROCKESTRA will coax it out of its dusty old box, polish it shiny and new and make it ready for the future, with a little help from our local rock scene.

Imago, Cambio, Sandwich, Silent Sanctuary, Sugarfree, and TwistedHalo will share the stage with the MSO in a mind-blowing collaboration that will happen on August 19, Friday at the Tanghalang Francisco Balagtas (formerly Folk Arts Theater) at 7:30 p.m.

And while you're imagining that: Imagine buying yourself a ticket to ROCKESTRA, telling all your friends about it, showing up at Folk Arts Theater and having the best night you will ever have in your entire life. Now quit imagining and go buy the ticket. Leave your top hat and tails at home. The dress code is strictly smartly caustic.

Tickets priced at Php 975/ 630/ 350/ 175/ 75.
Tickets are available at the CCP Ticket Booth, major National Bookstore branches, robinson's Department Store (Malate, Galleria, Cavite & Pampanga), Tower Records (Makati and Alabang), Music Museum (Virra Mall, Greenhills), Ayala Center Inc. Greenbelt 1 Ticket Booth Cinema Lobby, Glorietta 1 Ticket Booth Cinema Lobby and on the TicketWorld website found at www. ticketworld.com.ph. Call 891.9999 for inquiries and reservations.

Mapanood ko kaya 'to?
Parang astig.
MSO background.

Kaso wala pang sweldo.
Huhuhu.

Gusto ko makita si Aya.
Kumanta ng Prom.
Makinig ng Two Trick.

Source: Estranged Parts

Unplugged

at long last.
after 4 weeks of sleepin off those friday nights, i had a nice one last night.
went to malate with mark & jon.

we picked up Mark at Makati.

T'was was a beautiful night!

I wasnt expecting to see anyone that I know of except the ones I'm with.

1. He who juggles everyone's mind, blabbing about her babies who cant even get their complete nourishment. What do you expect from a mother who would rattle her children's minds and expect a perfect job well done.

2. He who is the source of power of everyone in my present unmotivated world that I kept on living in for the sake of existence whom I am not sure if he has the mind to carry that power.

3. He who has been so truly, madly, crazily in desperate measures to capture back the knight in shining armor waiting for that day that he will be taken to that castle far away.

Gosh. Markdown on choice of words. Too much.

Of course, would my dear companion let the night pass by without him holding the microphone and crying his voice out? Not!

Mark & Jon did a videoke ensemble at Villalon.
Went to unplugged. Cooky Chua was there. Close na ata sila ni Jon eh. Hehe.

Jon sang Santeria. Whatever that means. It was good. Di kasi namin marinig.
But it was good. Just within his range.

Si Mark ang kulit. Hay naku. Pero ok kasama.

Masaya ang gabi.
Nagkainuman.
Kwentuhan.
Tawanan.

Gabi ng Parangal.
Kailan kaya mauulit?

Oh btw, I received a white rose. Cool huh.

"Parang atin ang gabi.. para bang wala tayong katabi.. at tayo'y sumayaw na parang di na tayo bibitaw.." - Sugarfree

remote monitor day

this is such a tiring day.
no calls earlier, rio was down, avaya was down.
everything was down but everyone was up.

no recordings so i had to do remote scanning.
good thing raiders was here and i covered apprentices of buccaneers.

im going home after this.
hopefully, tonight's gimik would not be postponed.

i miss drinking.
i miss being with friends.
i miss those friday nights!!!

kailan kaya?

haaayyy..
may sakit ka na naman.
kailan ka pa tataba?
lagi ka may sakit. huhuhu.

im sick again.
my tummy aches.
arrghh.

will be coming in tonight.
supposed to be my rest day..

yung friend ko.. ayaw na ng pseudo.
mahirap talaga yun.
lalo na't walang kasiguruhan.
kasi naman ung lalake,
daming babae.
haaay.

yung isa naman.
sad and depressed.
hayup naman kasi yung lalake.
sarap kalbuhin eh.
mas maganda naman friend ko dun noh!


love moves in mysterious ways..

its always so surprising..

how love appears over the horizon..

not just a slumbook love

Another poem about love.


its an irritatingly unique, indescribable, superb emotion that flows within our entire wholeness..

..& never can you take it away from someone.

love never dies; people do & people kill love.

love sucks; but without love, everything sucks.

love is for the world; without love where is the world?

love is all bullshit; but if you don't love, you are a moron, idiot and a whole waste of human flesh.

love is full of color; without it, it will be just gloomy blacks & sorrowful greys.

love hurts; but love heals much faster.

love messes everything up; but it also stitches & patches things up.

love makes you sniff & cry; love makes you die of laughter.

love burns until you melt down; but love can burn hell down.

love can't be undone; its permanent.

you can fall in love; you can't fall out of love, its just that love moves in a different level - lower or higher.

love is perfect; flaws & faults doesn't make it imperfect, the people-that-don't-know-how-love-works do.

LOVE DOES NOT NEED BECAUSE, BECAUSE LOVE IS THE CAUSE.

first time kumain ng rice sa bus.

lonely day.
happy night.
no chris & maymay.
dont worry chris.
had the guts to show my face.
a-holes.
coughs & colds parin.
lost my cocolife.
damn it.
miss beer.
hehe.
training daw later.

first time ko kumain ng rice sa bus.
sarap.

after shock

after that fatal day.. (fatal daw oh?)

coughs & colds.
no drugs.
the waking hour.
message in a bottle.
pick.
no letters.
warmth.
insert sim card.
blog.
sun.
drive.
sleep.

and then there was light..

has anybody joined the bridge?

check out the Photobucket link at the side of my page this moment only if you:

* attended Jay-r Tan's celebration of passing in the board exams..

* went to the NCAA opening last month at Araneta..

* are my college friend and was with me at the Shang last April 15..

* are working where I'm working at and belongs to Bucs..

* are working where I'm working at and has the same job as I am..

* attended the Pulp Summer Slam with me..


wala lang. im sick today. i feel so bad. i dont know why. maybe because im sick.

I can't stand up. maybe because I'm paralyzed.
Moments when you want to run but you can't.
I'm still lucky I have someone who's stupid as I am.
I dont want to feel anymore. I'm weak.

do you like incubus?

check out this site (i found it in a cellphone's outbox) where i heard brandon boyd singing like a virgin.

gwapo talaga ni brandon.

I'm really sorry..

does being a friend has to have conditions?

My friend hates me.. but I understand her. I do.

Am I really that bad of being one?
Or am I just too plain stupid not to see that she really needs me?

I hope this wont be for long.

I'm sorry girl if you feel that way.

I love you girl. I really do and I can never give up on what we had that easily.
I hope you wont to.

sa gitna ng kahimbingan

weird. i had a dream yesterday.. (cant say last night kasi tanghali ako natulog eh..)
i was with a guy. and he was very furious with someone.
Setting: at one of the corner cubicles at the office.. (cubicle? parang sa CR?)

GUY: ggggrrrrr! susugurin ko na yun eh!
AKO: uy, bakit ka ba galit na galit???
GUY: eh kasi yang kaibigan mo eh! *magkasalubong ang kilay at nanggigigil*
AKO: *sabay yakap sa guy at pinipigilan* ano ka ba! bakit ba kasi galit ka dun?!
GUY: *umuusok ang nguso* eh kasi ang tagal ako sagutin eh!!!

AKO: *nagising na sa katotohanan*

hehehe. i just laughed when i woke up. pero i was hoping na sana totoo. para naman masaya ang friend ko.

masaya ngaun. rest day ko eh. hehe.
dito lang sa bahay. ewan ko bukas ano mangyayari.
tignan natin.

nakadalawa lang yata ako

shocks. dalawa na pala pamangkin ko sa mga pinsan ko.. hehe.

paguwi ko kahapon hinatak ako ni boyie, pinakita ang kanyang sleeping 10-month old na bebe.

galing ako sa ortigas kasama ko si avy. end of contract nung isa niya officemate kaya ayun, inuman na naman. before nun, galing kami gamol, nagpa-Nutracell ako. sarap nga eh. sa slimmers world. hehe. sarap kasi libre.

meron pa silang parang darkroom tas isusubsob mo mukha mo makikita mo mga diperensya sa skin hehe. galing..

may inuman na naman sa kabila. bday kasi ni boyie nung july 11. pati si cj na cute nandun din kinukulit si rj. hindi na nga ako kilala eh.

nakausap ko din si Indo, the Milo Best boy. Sa November daw, he will take the board exams. gud lak. buti pa sila. hehe. (bitterness na naman!)

teka. inantok ako sa pag-edit sa composer ng Hanggang Kailan. kakaadik. hehe.

sakit ulo ko. tulog muna ko.

Be Not Afraid

I had to walk a long way to get a jeepney until Gil Puyat because of the big rally that happened at Ayala Avenue. Haayy.. There were lot of people gathered since the night before the big event scheduled for Wednesday morning.

Masaya maglakad ng mahaba basta may kasama. Kasama mo ung mga peralyista.

Posters, stickers on the walls, the big stage setup, trucks and jeepneys full of people from all over Metro Manila, or even from the provinces.

Basta lahat who supports FPJ and wants Gloria to step down.

Why dont they just increase our salaries? Haha. Rather than creating havoc and chaos in my working place. Tapos wala daw kami hazard pay. Chismis.

Sayang nga lang I forgot my digicam.
Saka di ako nakahingi ng 'BE NOT AFRAID' sticker.

Britishly singing..

At Music One, Greenbelt, people were waiting while the background announcement says that Orange & Lemons will be playing soon and were already 15 minutes frustrated. Haha.


Yeah baby!

They are on a promo for their second album, Strike Whilst the Iron is Hot.
Actually, I like the first album more, Love in the land of rubber shoes and dirty ice cream.


where's little drummer boy?

Songs I like on the second album (which we purchased at Recto records.. as Jhon calls it..) are Lihim, Heaven Knows, Caught in Line (galing ni Clem when he sang this, no accompaniment..) & Hanggang Kailan. (Umuwi ka na baby..)


I'm not British, ey..

Astig OnL. Pati mga kasama ko kahapon.

"There are times when I'm lying in my bed.. How I willow and cry from this stupid game.. And my eyes are like windshields on a rainy day.."

UNSPECIFIED

You are nothing but..
..I mean everything to you.

You mean nothing to everyone.
Everyone means nothing to you.

I am your everything.
You are not my everything..
..but you dont mean nothing.

You are something to me.
Something does not mean everything.
I cant give you everything..
..but I can give you something.

Everyone means something.
Anyone can give you something.
Someone can give you everything.
Why is everyone nothing to you?

Dont make me your everything for I
cant give you everything.
I can only give you something that might be
nothing to everything that you give.

It might seem nothing to you but theres something
that makes me want to give you everything..

If you only knew how much I want to give..
..to give you everything..

-elppa-
070305

Pinoy Blonde OST at Podium

Gosh.. I'm so happy.. I had the chance to see Imago at promise mahal ko na si Aya..
went to Podium last night with Abby, where bands from the Pinoy Blonde Soundtrack played which includes Sugarfree, Imago, Radioactive Sago Project, Kapatid, Byaheng Reggae (with Boy 2 Quizon), Twisted Halo (na walang nasiyahan..hehe).

haaayy.. ang saya kahit masakit ang mga binti namin ni abby (at magulo yung mga teens na babae sa harapan namin..)

naiiyak ako wala kaming picture ni aya.. huhuhu. ang cute niya promise.
kulit pa niya sumasayaw siya sa Anino.. yahoo!

Sabi nila astig daw yung movie about 2 frustrated filmmakers headed by Boy 2 and Epi Quizon. Panoorin daw namin ni Abby eh.. well.. you wont know if a film is good unless you watch it.. right?

Balik digicafe

had no sleep and yet still had the time to go out with bucs. but of course, love ko silang lahat. ako kaya love nila? hehe. (just wondering..)


bucs @ digicafe. pssst.. bawal yosi dito.

went to digicafe. i saw vang pala. actually she saw me. one year higher sakin schoolmate ko as sfs na siya kasama ko sa glee club. astig na soprano un eh.


lagot ka jun puro bebot kasama mo..

i only had 2 bottles of sanmiglite. but had a few shots at the billiards hall. combo of redhorse & sanmiglite. adik kasi yung tanggero. hehe.


gorgeous gracie and cutie cam

good thing they had a night out coz joby's gonna be leaving soon. I think by the 10th. flying overseas for work. Great opportunity but of course bucs will miss him.


joby dont go! waaahhh..

Wala nako pagagalitan dahil sa overuse of sirs and ma'ams. Huhu.

the wait is over, bucs!

waiting for David..

well, although im not a part of the 'buccaneers' anymore, i still was invited to their long awaited team building, (i dunno why its called team building?). We went to Laguna, the most easiest place to find a way to relax, and be with people that makes you happy.. haaayyy..


love 'em all..

it was never a good departure, for me, well this is the day that i learned the truth. Truth really hurts. It sucks to know something when you dont want to know it but yet you need to know.

damn it. what a good way to start a journey. seeing those faces full of lies and betrayal. you never did anything good. you remained still. like youre not there.

all alone all along.

shit. my immortal should be banned from ears.

tell me where it hurts. it hurts here. where? here i said. every part of my body where blood flows. huhuhu. like you know what i mean.
cruelty to animals is a no-no. but if i can, it wont be just cruelty.


kasama na ata ako dito. hehe.

got to do grocery at walmart.. hehe.. walter mart pala.
we arrived at the venue and i saw the most amazing thing in the world.

microphone. connected to the videoke machine. haha.

of course, i need to let it all out. with bottles of beer coming at my face.
never had such a good time belting out my vocal chords until it bursts out of my neck. i wish it did happen. i wish it did not. well, then i wont be here updating this thingy, whatever you call this.

a medium of expression. feelings of hatred and sorrow and bitterness. damn it.

aarrrgh! (i learned this from my honey.. HI camela..)

where the corals are not blue

still here at ACS, been here for how many months now.. since September, gained and lost friends, co-workers.. but still here.
it was the 7th of May when we had a company outing (oh by the way its not proper to say outing, its a "summer get-away" as per HR).
Blue Coral in Batangas. Where in Bats, I dont know. and I dont care. Just look at the pics. Its the people you are with not just the place right?

Duh!

I was supposed to come in on the Friday shift but I just asked Magne if I could just attend the shift after the outing and not attend the Friday shift which actually happened since I got home around 5pm already that Friday. I woke up at 12am and arrived at ACS past 6am.

Akala ko nga iiwanan nila ko kasi 6am daw dapat ang departure. chismis. haha. Pero we left Makati at 730am. isa pang chismis. ang tagal nagantay. ewan ko kung sino o ano ang inantay. Super tagal ng byahe which left us all borlogs during the trip. It was so tiring and when we got there, it was so hot. The place was nice though, I was so excited to swim in the beach ('cause I miss Puerto Galera!) but like what Ive said, it was so hot and I would burn like hell if I went in the water.



It was fun, together with the QA's, especially May and Chris.. well, Tolitz is with someone, so were the only ones who took pictures of ourselves, of course, would I forget my handy dandy digicam? NOt!



Also had pics with Bucs, of course. Chismis kung wala diba.

I drank almost halfway of the San Mig Light bottle Jhon gave me, well, because we had to leave at 6pm.
May and I had to rush rinsing ourselves with sand and salt water because there was a long line of people outside the most biggest shower room in Batangas!

Those who would left at 6am will leave at 6pm. The time you leave is also the time you will leave. Magulo ba? Hehehe.

SINO KAYA ANG UMALIS NG 6AM, MATANONG KO LANG? MERON BA? Hell no.


Grabe miss ko talaga ang Galera at ang Laguna.

world war five!

first time to attend pulp summer slam courtesy of abby (lagi naman eh!) and jhon & company. well, we actually met there at amoranto.
it was jampacked with people, ahem, people? of all kinds and species. ill be posting pics soon.. wasnt able to bring my digicam but had done her assignment. thanks to abby i have pics to post on this event! this was also the first time i went inside a portalet! and to think that abby and I took our own picture inside! and i cannot take it! waaaahhhh!



may, abby & epol (pretty namin noh!)

well, they say shit happens every 30th of April, which had been going on for 5 years, I think. This is the 5th one.. but my first one.

drank not too much beer since its not that freezing cold anymore. since you would have to travel a long, long way to get to the beer booth and then go back to where you're posted, which for us, at the back, near the big floating globe balloon something. met new people like may (vocals ng band nila with jhon), a guy whom they met only at rakista (at nakikita lang nila pag may concert na ganito), kapatid ni jhon at mga pinsan niya (nasa dugo pala ang pagiging rakista). so sabit lang ata ako dito? hehe! so paki mo! masaya pumunta eh!



with brutal grace!

we also met up with brutal grace, official photographer of Pulp Magazine at tropa ni Avy(iba na talaga tong kaibigan ko, ang mga koneksyon!) we had pictures which ill be posting sooooooooonn!



ito ang tama!

it ended roughly at around 5am and ahem.. as the daylight peeks, creatures of the dark started to vanish.. except for some. or one..

letranista at the shang

Had a chance to be with my college friends last April 15. Met up with Avy, Pia, Nei & Nin. Yes! Nin, as in Nina Richie V. San Luis. She got here I think last Mon and wole me up on Tuesday,I was surprised and happy as well because I got the chance to see her when in fact she said that were gonna see each other again after 5 years. We went to Bocaboca at the Shang, it was a coolplace,we were outside and almost near the stage.



kanino ba 'tong extrang ulo?

Pj, Grace & France arrived with each of their own convenience. And of course, I wouldnt forget bringing my handy digicam and we actually drank the night away. Afterwards, we decided to continue the party to Malate because the Shang sleeps early. Got in a taxi and ate at Forbest, where I had the best spicy squid, courtesy of France's suggestion. I think I drank enough to be so tipsy and "makulit". What the heck? I had fun with my friends.



at starbucks malate..

Its a good thing actually because I tend to forget the things thats been bothering my mind and my heart. This is the life that I dont want to get used to because I know that these are the things that will kill me..



di na kami nakaalis dito.

So what? Much better than I kill myself, right?



2 lasing at isang mukhang lasing. lab yu pia!

we actually stayed at three places in one nigt.. di naman kami masyadong pagod nito?



abby, gusto mo rin ba ng butones ni pia?

another sizzling thursday

Sizzling stop at Jupiter St.. What makes us keep coming back to you?

This time with Dom, Pyke and Jhon. The three had increased! Hahaha!

It was Buccaneers' rest day, and it was NOT my rest day. So what? Ako pa!
Eric and Tolitz of course were present at the scene. We ate first and introduced
the famous corned beef to the new ones, and gave a brief introductory why it was literally "corned beef". At 11am in the morning, bottles start increasing, of course, with my best friend, Mr. San Mig Light.





Nevermind if Im the only gal, they say I drink like a man, but of course..

Certified girlalu pa rin to!





Isang malaking lasingan ito, lalo na si Dominador at Pyke (wherever his name came from..)
We went to digicafe afterwards just to discover that I left my sim card at Sizzling stop! WTF! Eric left it on the table and we had to go back, thank God the waiter saw it and was about ready to keep it to himself. Good thing we went back, even though, I just decided to leave it there. They played pool and I wanted to sleep, my eyes hurt and I had to come to work that night!









They actually continued the fun at Jhon's (he lives at Kasarinlan, btw..).
But before that, we took a cab and they dropped me off at home. It was around 7 in the evening. I got home and took off my clothes and slammed myself onto the bed.

I think they said they had fun singing and drank one more bottle each and went home at around 9pm. What a day! (or what a night!).

The day for me is night and night for me is day. Thats my life now.


For the past weeks, I had been drinking a lot which I know would eventually kill my system. But theres something that makes me impulsive to hold another bottle and drown myself to sleep. ito ang dahilan dahil sa unang pagkakataon, narinig ko ang paghampas ng bakal sa bakal.. sa tabi ng isang maliwanag na paraiso na walang anino mang mahahanap..

access denied!

badtrip!!!
no phone and no internet at home!
i cannot not update my blog!
many things had hapened over the past few days,
and damn it because since im here at the internet
shop i cannot upload any pics. hopefully within the
year, i can upload it. hehehe.



memento mori.

last night i was with jon, frances and her officemates
at makati republik. got home at 6am and good luck to me
i have work tonight at 11pm!



lahat kami.

been depressed and down for the past few days.
hopefully, ill get over it.
but damn it, beer is not the answer, thats true!
but who cares? alak pa!



france antok. epol gising.

can you see on the pics if im happy? of course, i am!
(liar me..)

i missed this!
i need access!!!

one sizzling black saturday.

work's done, no work tomorrow, might as well go home & sleep..

but what'll I do at home? naH!


I asked Eric and Tolitz to get a drink anywhere and we ended up at Sizzling Stop at Jupiter St. Just out of my depression and confusion, again, well, as always. Good thing kasi game yung 2 babae. (hehe). We had 4 rounds ata or 5, I forgot how many we had. I just hated the sisiG! Fuck the waiter! He already served the other meal before he informed that they had incomplete ingredients for the sisig, which is my favorite. Anyway, we still ordered it. of course it still suppressed the intoxicating spirit of San Mig Light (ano pa ba).


tolitz, epol & eric.

Badtrip, mahal ng beer. hehe. P35 each pero worth it.


eric & epol.

Ayos talaga ang San Mig.
nakapagpapatulog ng gising mong diwa.
nakapagpapawala ng malulungkot na alaala.
nakapagpapalakas ng dinadagang loob.
nakapagpipigil ng tumutulong luha.


mga lasing si gitna ng araw.

sana maulit muli.
sana malapit na yun.
kailangan lang talaga.
kahit sandali.

shet. parang pelikula.

rockista reloaded.

all sweaty and smelly and tired and wasted rockers and music lovers alike gathered at the marikina sports park for the rockista reloaded. at some time, i always go to marikina for 2 purposes only. to visit tita judilyn and kc.

..but then my confused mind and depressed heart brought me to that place and who else would I be with in such occasions? syempre, abby!

abby dropped by at 8pm, we took the mrt and fx, Got chammy with the fx driver that the sports park is already jampacked with different people.


view from the benches..

people, i mean, mga rakista, feeling rakista, nagdadamit rakista, mukhang rakista kahit hindi, mahilig sa rakista songs, naghahanap ng bf na rakista, naghahanap ng gf na rakista, mga batang rakista, baklang rakista, wasted na rakista, dugyot na rakista, rakistang manyak, rakistang puro hikaw sa kung saan-saang parte ng katawan, at may rakista pang sinundo ng tatay niya.. hahahaha!


epol & abby (nakaupo kami sa long bench sa tabi ng track field)

in short, ANYONE. im not a rocker pero nandun ako diba. just wanted to let it all loose. (what i mean is lightening up my heart and soul from stress, confusion and depression)

excerpts from last night:

+ sponge(bob) cola "naaalala ko ang mga gabing nakahiga sa ilalim ng kalawakan.."
+ greyhoundz' "strangle my neck 'cause you know I'd still laugh.."
+ kitchie nadal's "isip mo'y litong-lito sa mga panahong nais mong makalimot.."
+ mayonaisse's "dadalhin kita sa aming bahay, di tayo magaaway, aalis tayo sa tunay na mundo.."
+ 6 cycle mind's "di ako sanay sa biglaan, sana unti-unti na lang.."
+ kamikaze's "tsinelas ko, putangina nasan ang tsinelas ko.."
+ kapatid's "pagbabalik ng kwago, ang kwago sa gabi, sasamahan tayo kahit madilim.."
+ sandwich's "I have been waiting for you all night, under the glow of the satellite.."
+ radioactive sago project's "eto na, eto na, eto na, eto na.. ang astro!.."

weird(ness) from last night: (weird for me, so no violent reactions!)

+ guys wearing ankle long skirts
+ a girl with ankle long hair (wonder when was the last time she had a cut?)
+ kamikaze's vocals was so drunk and so high, but was able to sing well huh!
+ no smoking? (but abby was able to..)
+ no cameras? (but I was able to take pics.. haha)
+ a song about jopay?! ( i like the chorus though..)
+ announcement that his father had arrived to pick his son up
+ spongebob cola was possessed by kamikaze?
+ no stepping, standing or sitting on the track field (thanks to cris of subculture, we're able to sit on a real chair)
+ is radioactive sago project singing or delivering a declamation? (cool pa rin huh)


abby & cris of subculture.

*another thing, cris of subculture, astig! vocals na may dalawang saklay at headbanger pa. there was a whole big difference in the way he speak and the way he sang. astig talaga.

*also thanks to Gab, abby's tropa. we were able to get my digicam in and Abby's yosi.
ewan ko ba bakit bawal cam at yosi. sori na lang.

*at syempre salamat kay abby kasi kahit papaano naibsan ang nagdudurugo kong puso. wahahaha.


isang bangag at isang lasing.

may thanks pa talaga ako noh? parang nag-concert din.
sana meron ulit sa susunod.
no need to be squashed in the moshpit.
no need to sweat all over. ewww.

*ill be posting more pics. tagal ng hello.

all in a day's work.

congrats to me I was actually promoted to QA last week and I have been doing scans for the nesters. its pretty hard to scan newbies because they tend to ask how they would be able to resolve an issue and sometimes if the situation calls for it, I would actually tell the right thing to do. anyway, its their graduation yesterday. sad thing, buccaneers was not able to get the nester that I like.. (as if?!)

Here are new pics of the team. was able to waste their time making poses for my digicam. Good job Karen, that the team is doing well, hopefully it will improve more for the best.


the more the merrier.


camela, why are u harrassing david?"

..wherein afterwards, we were supposed to go to bulalo but we ended up at Yellowcab at glorietta. (not all of them came, sadly.)

ill be posting later the details on the rockista. in the meantime, settle for the pictured pic.

friendster blog.

there's a new blog in town.
friendster blogs.
its pretty cool actually because i love to take pics, the photo album is really useful for me.

check it out --> another crazyshrink

im missing someone! and i hate it. im still cool but i know he does too. i'll try this for a week but if doesnt work, i'll be back to normal.
(what is normal, anyway..?)

The World's Most Beautiful Bay..

what a place.

crystal clear water. blue sky. blue water throughout the horizon.

sun heating you up into chocolate. (who cares?)


sand & water.

I've been to Puerto Galera from afternoon of Feb25 until morning of Feb 27. Had a hard time looking for a place to rest but thank God, Mau was there and his Noel.. It was crowded with people in all shapes and sizes. Not minding each other, as long as they are having fun. As day turns to night, the bars and restos would pull up the chairs and tables to get ready for the wild children who will come out and play. It was such a wondrous night that you would never want to sleep.


night at galera with mau..

Daylight at 6am, the sun is up already but no one can stop me from dipping into the cold water. I never had this so much fun at the beach, (maybe its in rare occasions that I get to see white sands..). I really wanted to go back even if it would cost me money bwehehehe. It was a vacation for me really.. from all the work I've been doing.


ang init!!!

I am definitely going back there, during off peak season hopefully.

Im going back, I promise!

crystal clear water..,
kuha ni elppa.

more of puerto galera..

Sir Vince & the Buccaneers.

bucs!

I had the privilege with working with the best TM in the world (at ACS lang pala..). He spent his last night taking my cybershot taking pics with each agent and employee (ata) at ACS. He left last February 23. I was sad of course, and I know I'm speaking in behalf of the team, especially those who were with him form the start.

A leader who is powerful who could put you in pedestal. Were so grateful for him and being part of Buccaneers. Hopefully, Karen would get to lead us in the future.


hug me sir vince!

Thanks, sir vince. One in a million.

happy puso day!

The next day which was a day for my Hal. He came at 1pm exactly which was supposedly at 10am. Anyway, I was happy and even happier. We had a lot of fun, went to Galleria. I was also excited on seeing The Phantom of the Opera. We ahd reserved seats at P150 each. I cant help singing inside the cinema ( hehehehe) I just love the story and the music simply overwhelms me.

After at Galleria, we also went to Megamall, played arcade and all that stuff. We ahd so much fun with little things and thats what makes me fall for him. We can have so much fun at so little things. I just wanted to be with him forever.

Enjoy life and love the one you're with.. You'll never know how long you will be together..

"One way to happiness is a bad memory." -Rita Mae Brown

 

Lovapalooza..

Last sat, i went to baywalk (not with someone to kiss..) together with Pam & Au. I just wanted to experience being there at the Lovapalooza, there were so many couples, may it be old or young. I came there to see Bamboo, hehehe. I just hated those who ruined the concert with flying mineral water bottles (with water in it) and floating condoms (geez.) a-holes. anyway, good thing we were spared of having head lumps, sorry for the others. It was fun, other performers were Freestyle, Christian Bautista, etc. Hosted by the Close-up celebs. Got home at 1am with aching legs and excitement for the next day.. (Ill put in pics, nexttime..)


pam & au at lovapalooza.

kung hei fat choy!

(i just read this in a maggi pamphlet..)

to those who are born in the same year
as me, 1983..

year of the boar/pig
in the year of the rooster..

people born in the year of the boar
are honest and tolerant and make good
friends, but tend to expect the
same from everyone else, and more
offten than not they end up disappointed.
They thrive in the arts as entertainers. (naks, ako yun..)

Fortune:
Knuckle down in the workplace and your
efforts will be rewarded. (hopefully..incentives!)
Plan finances and save for the future.(actually, ubos na..)
You'll find a new love (nevermind.)
or tie the knot with an old one. (wish ko lang!)

what the fock?!

I'm not a know-it-all in html and all that page making stuff but I'm learning and had new adjustments in my blog. Check out the pictured pic, I'll try to update this once in a while. Also the 'other stuff', (hope It's ok to link these sites, I'm using them anyway..)

Such a tiring but exciting day yesterday, even though KC pissed me off so bad, I get over the moment I see him. He arrived at my house 3pm when it was supposedly scheduled to be at 11am. OMG. It was last Jan16 when we last saw each other at Kat's despedida, so I was really excited on seeing him.

We went to Rob Place Mla, ate at KFC (our favorite), watched Meet the Fockers. It was a hilarious film, we were laughing like children. BTW, let me give you a list of the most famous characters in the film.

Horniest: Moises, the dog who humps everthing that moves.
Most brutal: Jack the prodigal baby, first word was "ass..hoooole"
Ugliest: Horhe Villalobos, the suspected son of Gaylord, son of Isabel, the housekeeper who devirginized Gaylord.

I was so sleepy and tired and wasted but what the heck, I was with my Hal..

We all build our own circle of trust, but like any other shape and size, it can get lose its original form and therefore exposing our true selves.

what's super about the bowl?

i dont really know anything about football until I got into ACS. It's Superbowl and no wonder Kanos are going bananas if they dont get to see this on their DTV. Hahaha.

Good thing its my rest day today and I wont be receiving bs about them not seeing it on their tv.

Its the Philadelphia Eagles and the New England Patriots on the spot.
Who cares who will win? hehehe.