Seasonal Affective Disorder

I remember Nin had this before.. what about now? me too?

During holidays & special occasions, I can go to all the places I know and celebrate with them but not to the place that I have been dreaming of.. I hope that it will not be a dream forever.. Still waiting..

Chuck Taylor

Nice! I think my agents love me.. enough to buy me a pair of chucks! My first pair actually! I was planning to buy by the end of this month, so this was really a surprise for me.

Unexpected and touching..

Raffle!

Held a raffle for my agents. Saw the excitement in their eyes.. for the groceries!

Well.. I hope they are happy..

CRIBS

I complained but not too much.. Especially when I had fun at CRIBS. It was an outreach program of DTV. They take care of infants and abused girls. We had a lot of interaction with the girls, they were friendly and accomodating. I also had the chance to play with some of the infants. Some of them were left somewhere, like in the mall or in the garbage. Maybe we don't understand those mothers who does that to their babies. But why not leave them to their relatives or somewhere where they would be best taken care of?

There were these two babies who were isolated because they have a fever. One was crying so hard that I almost felt like crying too. THere was ony one nurse who takes care all of the babies.

We played games, intermission numbers and gift giving. It was funny when we played the Newspaper dance, one girl had to carry me on her back because I can't. Hehehe. Magaan naman daw ako eh.

Maymay asked me to sing Better Days, I thought I would be able to get away by playing with the infants but not with Maymay. When I was walking home I passed by a videoke bar wherein one lady was singing better days. Natawa lang ako.. Hihi.

Im so tired

Friday morning, woke up at 6am to meet France at RCBC Makati.
We had coffee at Starbucks, and then went to Dencios. I made a reservation for my team, dinner at 7pm. Then we went to SM Makati, bought toys for the kids. I thought I'd buy some for my "inaanaks". Si France kasi eh. Andami ko tuloy nabili.

Friday night, met my team at Dencios. Had dinner, I'm happy because we're complete and we took pictures. Well, I hope they had fun. We continued our get together at Maru KTV. It was not the best place to be, but we had fun singing.

Lesson Learned. Next time I'll get an early reservation..

BTW, We met a kid, a flower vendor who had no slippers so I thought what the heck, I'll buy him a pair at Mnistop. Rona bought him dinner. Kawawa naman. I wish I could do more for them..

No time to sleep!

I only had 2 hours of sleep!
Buti buhay pa ako.

Met Nin at Fatima Valenzuela, which was by the way my first time to go there alone.
Before that, I passed by Redbox Greenbelt just to discover that they are fully booked for Friday night! Grrr!

I managed to get to Fatima, at hindi ako nawala yehey! (muntik na)
Ate at Shakeys. Nin had a sprain. Clumsy old Nin. ;)

Hindi nako marunong magcommute! Waahh!

Nin told me something about an advice I gave her a long time ago and I don't remember me saying that. She said it was really ironic. When she told me, I did not believe it. But I guess I had to.

Thought a about it a lot. But then, if she would ask for an advice again, I would still say no. Brings a lot of comlications. In my case, a whoole lot.

It was good

I'm feeling much better now.
We talked about things.
I told him how I feel, and he listened.
I got a text message from him which was very unexpected.
I thought he never knew how I felt..

Rock the Riles

We parked Crazy Ass near MRT, and had a little problem with her stand. It was stuck, and Jon had to borrow a hammer to fix it. Anyway, when we arrived at the station. Paramita was next to perform. Yay! Bought cards to get in and see them up close & personal. Took pictures of course. Also saw Up Dharma Down, Radioactive Sago, Giniling Festival and another band whose name I forgot but was singing like Brandon Boyd.

Gang Badoy talked about the Sumilao farmers which is the cause of the event. Rockedphilippines brings events like this for a good cause. Human Rights. Rock on.

Not enough sleep.It was hot. We had to pay P25 each to get in but it was worth it.

New experience.

Busy day

Went to Exportbank Plaza Saturday morning at 9am to meet my honey Camela.
We had coffee at Starbucks 6750, talked about everything we missed doing together.
She is actually the only one I can talk to about him.
At around noon, we continued our date at Big Grill.
3 bottles each. Gosh I miss drinking with her.
Besa came. I have no intention of telling him but them I missed him. And so I did.

I didn't tell him that I was with Camela, he picked me up there and we went to Red Box to meet our co-workers. Due to the downstaffing, our boss thought of having a little get together for everyone. And then there was drining again. My favorite, Mang Jose. Came to the office at 2am in the morning. Still dizzy, hangover, but I got to work.

The things I do before work.. Haay.

3 hours

I only had 3 hours rest.. from all the aches in the world. Work, love, family.. All of it. I guess I'm not the best doctor of my heart. I don't even know what it wants.. Or sometimes I don't know what it wants, for that matter. I need some rest from thinking.Because thinking makes me feel weary and tired, and worst of it all, it hurts..

She's back!

Nin is back home!
She got here 28th I think.
Stayed overnight @ Marilao with Arvin.
Had like 2 wapak and 2 shots of my fave, Mang Jose.

Catch up on things..
Miss her.

Spageti

Did I get it right?
I learned how to cook spag today!
No violent reactions please!

Flickring

people.
places.
music.
noise.
memories.
gone.
alone.
desperate.
unhappy,
but happy.

sorting out my flickr.
i remembered something.
what if it's all just a big photo album,
time will just freeze the whole picture.
nothing can be changed.
can't go back now.
it's a whole new one.

take a snapshot again.
see what happens.

An Old Happy Story

excerpts from an old pocketbook:

hi!
musta na?
tagal na nating di nagkita?
ok ka lang ba?
ayusin mo buhay mo ha.
ayusin ko din sakin.
promise.
ingat ka lagi.

it's amazing
how some stories
unexpectedly
becomes my reality.

Erap (Not the President)

It was freezing outside. we had our jackets on but we still got wet.
maybe because our transportation is the open type. hehehe.

Good news! 13th month pay was given today. Thank God for this job.

Went to Rjs to sip a hot bulalo soup.
Suddenly there he was.
A kid with no slippers on, with wet, dirty clothes.
I had no change to spare so Besa paid our bill though we haven't eaten yet.
But then I thought of something else instead of giving coins.
Why not let him eat with us? Great idea. Why not.

I asked him why he had no slippers on. no answer.
We asked for his name. "it's erap." Wow.
We were so lucky to have breakfast with the most famous president in the Philippine history (well, that's just me..). imagine that.
I asked where he lives. He said its just around the corner.
I watched him eat, like he has not eaten a fine meal for days.
Like its the first time that he'll be able to eat at that place.

I just wish there was more that we can do.
But this is what we can only do.
I thank Besa for he was the one who opened my eyes to this.

First time we did this was back when we did not have any motorcycle.
We had to ride the bus at Edsa and take a jeep at Boni ave.
There was this kid who was asking for some coins,
but instead, Besa asked him to join us at Mcdo.

I was so happy and did not expect that from him.

But then I realized why.
He could not bear the fact if that would happen to him.
To his own.

Unexpected

Everytime I hear it I always expect what I want. But most of the time I get frustrated because I would eventually realize that I'm wrong, and I shouldn't be expecting too much at all.

I have all these bottled up in my head and can't figure out what is happening. It's burning inside like I wanna explode into something that I'm usually not.

It has been this long since I took this path, when I chose to live as if nothing is ever gonna be the same. I'm walking through it and leading me somewhere I don't know.

Isn't that enough to say that I understand everything?

Don't get me wrong. Everything is appreciated. Glad to hear, to see, to accept all of it. It may not be obvious. Just look a little bit closer.

I don't have any reason to complain or to back out now because what I said was true and nothing can change it. I'm still here, the same old me.

I wish its gonna be my turn now. To be understood.

FNAB

Do you know what is FNAB?

Fine Needle Aspirate Biopsy.

Just don't ak me to define it, I'l just describe it. A fine needle (of course) would go through the body part that they want to extract body fluid from. In my case, it's my neck. i have this lump, a colloid as the doctor said, on the right part of my thyroid. This is actually my second time to undergo. I was so scared the first time and the second time, though there's really nothing to be scared about but the truth that this might enlarge anytime soon. So better to go through this than seeing that I have an obese neck.

Imagine, a long needle, syringe would be going through your neck within a minute, sucking all the blood and fluid in that lump. That hurts for me. Ouch!

Next week, I would have to go back to Healthway again to vist an endocrinologist and see what she or he would say about my case. If medications would not cooperate with my case, chances are I would have to undergo surgery. Oh my...

I want to eat Dunkin Donuts pero wala na pala sa Rob Mla.. Iba tuloy nahanap ni bebe..

Astig ni Manny Paquiao noh?

Something News

Got my first credit card today. i thought it will never be approved. Unfortunately, it was. I might just use it for emergency purposes, unless hiramin ni mama. hehehe. Siya pa kasi nagdeliver sakin sa kwarto, and siya ung excited.

Bebe also bought me Levi's jeans, and got a new pair of sandals from Rusty Lopez. Sira na kasi ung favorite sandals ko. I don't really like to go shopping for extra things, just when I need it, or kapag sira na. Or maybe because I don't have that much money to buy extra..

What is a toothache?

Its when you can't anything you want for 4 to 5 days. Its something which hinders you to smile your best. Its when you can't open your mouth and shout "Ahrgh!" Its those times when you really can't go to work because you have a locked jaw. If ever its going to be my first tooth extraction. And Im scared to death. I hope that anaesthesia works. Its also my first time btw to get that. How exciting isn't it?

Is toothache relevant to sore throat? In my case, yes.

Inflammation of the gums + inflammation of the throat = hell.

Add up your life's problems.. What do you have? Toothache!

Jyan Louis Gabriel Hipolito Ganal

Si Jyan sinunggaban agad ung cake.. hehehe.

Birthday na ni Jyan! Yehey! I changed my rest day so I can celebrate with them sa Cavite. Meron konti kids, pabitin at palayok. Cake with wonder boy on top, ballons na galing daw sakin?

Kaso si Jyan umiyak nung sa pabitin ewan ko, dahil ba hindi sya nakakuha.. pero siya naman bida sa palayok.

Hilig pa mag nguso ni Jyan! Pogi ng batang to!

Pag lasing na ang hilig niya ay paglaruan ang tenga at hikaw ko. Weird din to noh. Hehehe.

Keychain na Doll

Ang baho sa loob ng taxi. Amoy natuyong pawis, na ewan ko ba kung galing kay manong driver o sa pasahero niya na katatapos lang magpractice ng sumo wrestling. Buti na lang malapit lang ang pupuntahan ko. Papasok lang naman ako. Hindi na ako sanay mag commute. Di narin sanay mag-taxi. Riding in tandem ang uso ngaun sa buhay ko. Hehe.

Crazy Ass.

Hindi ako yun. Yun ung pangalan ng motor namin ni Jon. Akalain mo nakuha pa namin pangalanan diba? Actually siya lang nagbigay nun. Nice name. Astig nga dating diba.

May bagong kanta pala ung isang babaeng singer na ewan ko ba kung naging karelasyon nga ni Barbie. Dati gusto ko pa siya. Simula ng nag-revive siya ng isang lumang kanta, ayoko na. Mataas ang boses niya. Babaeng babae. Maganda. Malamig. Masarap pakinggan. Dati siguro. Pero malay natin in the future ulit.

Paano kaya magagawa yung Orange. Gusto ko pa naman panoorin yung hiniram ko kay Maymay. Bituing Walang Ningning at Bukas Luluhod ang mga Tala. Original ito oy. Buti na lang natapos ko na ung Weeds. Sabi ni Besa, magulo ang ending. Magulo nga. Hehehe.

Wala ako kasama pumasok. Nagpunta sila sa Pansol. Na-miss ko tuloy sila Camela. Ay si Camela lang pala. Oliver, Kae, swimming, hot springs, at kung anu ano pa nakikita dun sa Pansol. Gusto ko pa nga mag two piece swimsuit kaso bawal daw sa pool eh. Baligtad noh.

Naging dalawa tuloy trabaho ko. FD at TM. Gusto ko na nga gawin lahat eh kaso hindi puede. Mas gusto ko yung nauna, but I'm stuck with the latter. How do I get out? I don't know. Wish I knew how.

Stress. Lack of sleep. Sadness. Anger. Frustration. Ignorance. Big Pay. These are the rewards of my achievement. For all I know, I'll be here forever. Scary.

Like in the song from Music & Lyrics, "..trapped in the past I just can't seem to move on."

Mocha Blends

Hirap pala maghanap ng trabaho. pila ka sa kahabaan ng megatrade hall para makapasok ka at makahanap ng "dream job" daw. ewan ko eh un kasi title ng job fair ngayon dito. napasama pako sa isa sa mapapalad na magiinterview sa mga aplikante. galing noh. baka puede din ako magapply ng ibang trabaho habang nagiinterview para sa kompanya namin. hehehe. dalawang aplikante na ang pinapadala dito, ung isa nagaantay sa magiinterview sa kanya, di alam kung matatanggap ba siya o wala. makakailan kaya kami ng matatanggap ngayon? or should the question be, "may matatanggap ba kami ngayon? Harsh.

Balik ako sa post nato ha? kasi hanggang sa makaalis ako ng Megamall ng 2:30pm. wala parin talaga kami natanggap eh. We had i think 4 or 5 applicants during the initial and final interview but nobody exceeded or at least reached our standards. Kailangan eh. Baka mapasailalim ko pa yun. Problema na diba.

Anyway, Im still happy because I had the chance to see Nin and Kat, (of course in pics only), na magkasama ulit. Buti pa sila nagkikita. Miss you guys. I hope you're reading this. I really miss you guys. Sana makarating ako jan. But how? I don't know where to start. Unlucky me.

Tacos. Pink bag. Camera. Rosy cheeks. Red sweater. People in the background that I don't know. Kat's frown of frustration or disgust?

Takaw niyo dami niyo ata food? hihihi.

all in a year's work

shrek. optimus prime. bumble bebe. silver surfer. top grill. umabot pa ng sais. starts and ends. baguio. license to wed. dream come true. archie sup col. fantastic four. happy beerday. mariners. oh my mariners. next?